How to break out of the vicious cycle

Are you repeating the same damn thing over and over?

Does this sound familiar?

Do you have a terrible, weird, annoying situation constantly repeating? You keep changing jobs, relationships, places to live, only to notice that you again have the same problem? “If only he, she, they, this would be different, then I would be fine!” That’s how it feels. And it’s such a habitual way to think because that’s how we learned it. “Change the circumstances, and everything is going to be OK!” Right?

“No!” Unfortunately, this is generally not working at all!

Let me tell you something from my own experience:
As a young adult, I moved from one beautiful place to another just to realize that this didn’t make me any happier! Living in Paradise (Hawaii, for example, came pretty close 😉 and miserable is still miserable. That’s why we need to find out the source of what is generating this repeat misery in the first place. Most of the time, we are unaware of why we keep attracting the same things outside. We think we want other things to happen. That’s why consciously, we want a different life, a different relationship, more money, more friends, another job, etc.

But unconsciously, inside of us, there is another part that runs the show!

Let me give you an example from one of my clients:
Dave, not his real name to keep it confidential, came to me to look at his relationship in which he wasn’t happy, and that was breaking up.
While talking to me, it became apparent that hidden inside him, there was a belief that influenced the way he behaved with the persons he loved.
“I need to worry about the people I love; otherwise, I’m not really loving them.”
When I brought this to his awareness, he couldn’t believe it.
This must be wrong! But as soon as he got connected to his real feelings about it, he noticed that was what was inside him; this was the way he loved: “If I’m not worried, I don’t really love.”

The power of Tapping

While we did some Tapping on it with me, his father’s way of constantly worrying came up. His father had been growing up with a bipolar mother. So he learned from a young age that if he wanted to be happy, he needed to take care of his mother, which meant: worrying about her.

In his father’s case, this was an intelligent way of adapting to the circumstances.
But for Dave, it was utterly unnecessary, and he still learned from his father that this is what love is. So, therefore, Love and Worry got linked together in his brain. So much so that he chose partners to worry about and that had severe problems.
When he was a young man, his girlfriend died of cancer; the last woman he was with had bouts of an incurable disease that were life-threatening. So he had plenty to worry about. Once his girlfriend’s illness had become better, this worrying part of him felt that he didn’t love her anymore as much as before.

Seeing all this was quite striking and eye-opening. This pattern of worrying served his father. But for Dave, it was only exhausting and did not nourish his love relationship or himself.

Inter-generational beliefs can shift!

His inter-generational learned belief shifted by Tapping (EFT: a method that helps change beliefs and lower emotional stress) on it and all the related emotions. And at the end of the session, this belief was barely perceptible in his felt sense, whereas it was 100% true initially.

Suppose you are in a situation where the same destructive, annoying, terrible, or even awful things happen repeatedly. In that case, you may want to look at your beliefs!
And then ask for help:

One way to check if I can help you is to come to my free monthly webinar on Zoom and experience the power of Tapping for releasing old stories. I also teach you tools for your day-to-day life in this webinar. Usually every 3rd Wednesday of the month at 1 pm EST. Write me to get the zoom link for this free webinar:

Another lovely way is to connect in a 30-minute discovery call with me. You will get clarity about your situation. Then, I can make recommendations on how you can move on to something new and happier for you. Book your free session with me at


Want to read more about how the mind and the body influence each other? Click here